One Week and Counting

I’m scheduled for a double mastectomy a week from today: Tuesday, March 3rd.

I’m guessing some of you might be asking yourself: how does a self-described indecisive person make up her mind? isn’t a double mastectomy a little drastic?  but my [insert name of sister/neighbor/friend here] had a boob-sparing lumpectomy…why in the world would catherine choose to cut off her breasts? Here’s the scoop on how I came to decide on the big “double M.”

To know me is to know that I am a small-breasted woman. I love my breasts. I love all breasts. What I didn’t love was the mental image of what my itty-bitty titty would look like after half of it was scooped out and the other half was nuked for six weeks. Aside from the potential side effects of radiation, such as bone-numbing fatigue, scarring, skin texture changes, and, in some cases, cancer (just what I need), I didn’t like what I saw. I envisioned something between a prune and a raisin–an unseemly picture the plastic surgeon did not contest.

What he did do was offer to slice a muscle from my back (or abs), thread it up into the cavity that was my breast, and wrap it around a nice, new implant, like a bow on a present. He presented this idea with a wink and a smile, like I was crazy not to jump at the chance.

Okay, let’s get this straight. I’m supposed to sacrifice muscle for a nipple-less lump of half flesh, half silicone (oh, and by the way, that implant will need to be replaced every 10 years). Hey dude, I’ve worked way too hard for those muscles for you to carve them up and rearrange them into boob-like shapes. Not to mention, I’d rather use my muscles for rock climbing and handstands. Um, thanks but no thanks. I’m going to need all the strength in every one of those muscles to get me through this and whatever else comes my way.  

To be continued…

2 Responses

  1. Rae says:

    Your muscles will all get plenty of use, I am sure–when we go on our “Cancer-Free, Post-Ectomy Weekend Adventure to Chicago” come summmer. Or what-have-you. A scary decision, but the one I think makes sense, too. As an itty-bitty-titty lady myself, I have to agree that the alternative would probably be the most depressing. Might as well save your energy for handstands!

    also, KITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow! Sorry, but I am merging my comments to diff posts here

  2. Barb says:

    I stopped back to check on the date of your surgery. Just know you’ll be in a whole lot of FLXers thoughts tomorrow, sending you good energy and sending your surgical team good energy as well.